Flow

Corey Wayne and How to Be a 3% Man

4 min read

Corey Wayne's method fits on an index card. Talk to her briefly, ask for the date, take her number, and use the phone to set a time and place. Most of what he's known for comes from one book, How to Be a 3% Man, and from the articles on his own website.

Who he is

Wayne describes himself as a life and peak performance coach. His website, UnderstandingRelationships.com, carries his coaching services, books, newsletters, and a long archive of articles on dating and relationships, with a comments section where readers ask him questions.

Goodreads lists How to Be a 3% Man, Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams with a 2006 publication year. At the time of writing, the book has 3,543 ratings and a 4.21 average on that site (4.18 across 3,826 ratings for all his titles), which makes it the most-rated of his titles there. His other books include:

The core ideas

Keep approaches short

On his site, Wayne's advice for approaching is brief: approach, set the date, and move on. There's no long conversation on the street to build a connection, because the date is where that happens. Compare that to day game, where some coaches suggest 7 to 10 minutes before asking for a number. His version is on the short end.

Ask for the order

"Ask for the order" is his phrase for asking directly for what you want. In practice, that means asking for the number and the date instead of hoping she brings it up. The phrase comes from sales, where you finish by asking for the yes or no.

This pairs well with the advice in how to ask for a number.

Use the phone to set dates

Wayne treats the phone as a tool for arranging a meeting, not a place to build a relationship. His suggested wording when you give someone your number is: "Hey, here's my number. Give me a call and let's chat for a bit and maybe meet up for a drink." The idea is that a short call leads to a plan. Long text threads delay the date. What to text after getting a number covers what to message if you go that route.

The kiss test

The kiss test is the idea Wayne is best known for. His instructions, from a post dated August 28, 2015:

"Look into her eyes, then slowly down to her lips and then slowly back into her eyes during normal conversation."

He says to repeat it one or two more times over the next 10 to 20 seconds. If she also looks at your lips, in his words, she's thinking about kissing you too. If she doesn't look at your lips, or leans away, that's your answer and you don't move in. A kiss needs her to want it as well. Signs of interest lists other signals worth watching for.

What to take from Wayne

  1. Time your approaches. Set a phone timer for 5 minutes. Say hi, have a short chat, and by the time it goes off, ask for the number or a date. If it's going well, you can run longer.
  2. Say the ask out loud. "I'd like to take you for a coffee this week. Can I get your number?" Direct beats hinting.
  3. Use his number line. Hand over your number with "Give me a call and we'll set up a drink" and see how many people call. Note it in your log.
  4. Keep texts short. Text only to confirm a time and place. Aim for a plan within the first 3 messages.
  5. Plan the date with a clear end. Choose a place where you can talk and where the date has a natural finish, like a coffee shop or a short walk. First date ideas has options.
  6. Try the kiss test at the end of the date. Do it slowly, once or twice. If she doesn't look at your lips, smile and say goodnight.
  7. Track the whole chain in Flow. Log each approach, then use the Stats funnel to follow what happens next: got number, texted, date set, went on a date.

Sources