Flow

Richard La Ruina and The Natural

3 min read

Richard La Ruina's origin story is short: at 25 he was, by his own account, shy and awkward around women, and he decided to turn himself into what the pickup world calls a "natural." That decision became PUATraining, a London company he founded in 2007, and later a book with the same idea in its title.

Who he is

La Ruina is a London-based dating coach and pickup artist. His literary agency's profile says PUATraining has grown into five websites, weekend seminars, and boot camps in several countries. It also lists media appearances on the BBC and ITV, and coverage in Men's Health, the Evening Standard, and Cosmopolitan. His publisher says he has personally coached thousands of men.

He's one of the British names in the wider scene covered in famous pickup artists, and he came up in the same period as the bootcamp companies described in Real Social Dynamics and the rise of the pickup bootcamp.

PUATraining

PUATraining's offering, per his agency, is weekend seminars, boot camps around the world, and the five websites. The company still operates as an international dating coaching business.

The Natural (2012)

The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want came out in 2012. The UK edition runs 224 pages and is listed by Penguin. It's also on Audible.

The publisher describes it as a step-by-step blueprint covering four things:

The pitch is that confidence and charm are skills with a method behind them, not traits you're born with. The book calls its methods field-tested. The title is the thesis: a man who isn't naturally smooth can learn the habits that look natural from the outside.

How the ideas fit together

The four topics in the blurb follow the order of a real interaction.

  1. Body language is what she sees before you speak. Posture, how you walk up, and how you stand.
  2. Conversation starters are your first sentence. They're a way in, not a performance. Openers that work covers why the exact line matters less than how you say it.
  3. Eye contact is how you hold attention once you're talking. There's more detail in eye contact when you approach.
  4. The first touch is the first physical contact. It can be as small as a handshake. Read her response, and if she steps back or stiffens, stop and move on.

His starting point

The Penguin page for the book repeats his story: shy, awkward, and 25 when he set out to change. The same page says he has coached thousands of men through what it calls dramatic transformations. For how advice in this space moved from memorized lines toward confidence and directness, see from pickup lines to authenticity.

What to take from Richard La Ruina

These are drills built on the four topics in The Natural. Run them over one week.

  1. Body language check, 2 minutes. Before your first approach, stand up straight, drop your shoulders, and walk to the venue entrance at an unhurried pace. Do it again before every approach.
  2. Write one conversation starter you'll actually say. Something like "Hi, I'm [name]. I saw you from over there and wanted to say hello." Use the same one for your first 5 approaches so you stop rewriting it mid-walk.
  3. Eye contact reps. In your first 10 seconds, hold eye contact while you talk. When you look away, look to the side, then come back.
  4. Practice the first touch on a friend. A handshake or a light tap on the forearm at a natural moment. Do it 3 times a day for a few days so it doesn't feel foreign.
  5. Log each approach as Success, Rejected, or Pass. Add one line on what you did with body language and eye contact. After 20 approaches, read the notes and pick the one habit to fix.
  6. Stop on a no. If she says she's busy or not interested, say "No worries, have a good one" and leave.

A no, or her walking away, means stop. Everything else in this list works better with that rule.

If you log those 20 approaches in Flow, the notes show you which habit changed your results.

Sources