Matthew Hussey and what women are told about dating
Most pickup material is written for men. Matthew Hussey is one of the best-known dating coaches doing the opposite: his audience is mostly women, and his advice shows what many of them hear about meeting people, texting, and first dates. If you're approaching women, knowing that advice helps you see how a conversation looks from her side.
Background
Hussey was born on June 19, 1987, in Essex, England. He started as a life coach in his late teens, working with men at first, then switched to coaching women in 2008. In 2010 he moved to the United States. His YouTube channel was created on June 28, 2010.
His work has grown into a mix of online tutorials, 7-hour seminars, retreats (Wikipedia lists a price around $4,000), and one-on-one coaching (listed at $10,000 per hour). He has been a love expert contributor on NBC's Today, a matchmaker on NBC's Ready for Love, and a Cosmopolitan columnist since 2015. He hosts the Love Life podcast. In October 2023, he married Audrey Le Strat in Sicily.
Books
- Get the Guy (2013, HarperWave): subtitled Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve. A New York Times bestseller.
- Love Life: How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and Live Happily (No Matter What) (2024, Harper): HarperCollins describes it as a practical guide to letting go of past relationships, setting new standards, communicating them, and building confidence. It debuted at number three on the New York Times advice and how-to list in May 2024.
The YouTube channel
As of 2026, Social Blade shows about 3.4 million subscribers and 633 million total views. The channel carries his dating and relationship advice, aimed mostly at women.
Specific advice he's given
These come from his segments with Entertainment Tonight.
- Short first dates. He suggests a 20-minute coffee in the middle of the day instead of a full dinner with someone you don't know yet.
- The small favor. At a bar or party, ask the person to watch your jacket "for two seconds" while you drop drinks off with friends, then come back and say, "Thank you so much. How's your night going anyway?"
- Eye contact and smiling. Make more eye contact than feels necessary, and smile.
- Moving app chat to real life. One line he's shared: "If we don't meet up soon, we are about to become fully-fledged pen pals."
You can find the same ideas in how to ask someone out, how to start a conversation with a stranger, and online dating vs cold approach.
Where he fits
Hussey sits next to coaches like Hayley Quinn and Kezia Noble, who also advise on dating from a woman's or mixed perspective. He's listed with them in the famous pickup artists overview, though his own material is aimed at women rather than at men learning to approach.
What to take from Hussey
- Suggest the 20-minute coffee. After a good conversation, ask: "Want to grab a coffee for 20 minutes? There's a place right here." It's an easy yes.
- Use the small-favor opener once this week. At a party or bar, ask someone to watch your jacket or bag, then return within a minute with "Thank you. How's your night going?"
- Make eye contact for a full beat longer than usual when you say hello, and smile. Count a slow two seconds.
- Set a deadline on app chat. After 10 to 20 messages, ask: "This is fun. Want to grab a drink Thursday at 7?"
- Log it. In Flow, write down which of these you tried and how she responded, and review after five tries.